We went to a family function this afternoon/evening at Alex’s uncle (dad’s brother) and Aunt’s house. They only invited us a few days ago and Alex explained about her Celiac Disease and said that she would bring something for herself to eat so she wouldn’t be an inconvenience.

Alex is getting over a cold and a glutening so she hasn’t been feeling well but she really wanted to go to see her cousins. While we were there, her aunt kept encouraging Alex to eat stuff like it would be no big deal. She was saying that she was “allergic” to onions and she was okay to eat a few onions so it would be no big deal for Alex to eat just a bit of wheat.

While I was out of the room, the aunt apparently insinuated that Alex was overreacting a being high maintenance. Of course Alex was very hurt by that. Alex’s dad freaked out and started yelling at the aunt that she had no idea how sick Alex has been. And then the uncle was yelling at Alex’s dad for yelling at his wife. It was all very horrible and Alex was SO upset. Alex, her dad, brother, and I ended up leaving after the big blowout.

Alex is so upset and feels responsible for the fight between her dad and his brother. I can’t believe how insensitive her aunt was. Is this par for the course with family? I don’t expect everyone to understand Celiac but if someone says eating something will make them sick, I expect other people to believe them. Alex has practically been through hell these past months and her aunt was basically treating her like she won't eat wheat because she doesn't like it. How can we make people understand how serious this is? I don't ever want Alex to feel pressured into eating gluten by people like her stupid aunt.

Ryan

Ryan, the hard part about having a chronic illness is that some days we feel somewhat better, dress nicely, leave the house, and people don't have any kind of reminder that we are SICK!

They haven't been in our house on the days we can't get out of bed. They have no way of understanding just how sick we are.

Let's face it, we who are chronically ill ARE high maintenance! I know the aunt meant that she was being too scrupulous, but that is her lack of understanding of how sick Alex really was/is. It's better for you or Alex's dad to stand up to her than for Alex to do it. However, it only needs to be a "you apparently forgot that Alex was fighting for her life over this, I never remember you fighting for your life over onions." Then drop it.

Personally, if it's Alex's dad's sister, I think he should call her. I know I would. The aunt was wrong. You all are very upset about it still because Alex is still recovering. Alex's dad shouldn't have blown up, but it's been high stress for you lately, and he can tell that to his sister as well ... meaning the stress caused the blow up because her lack of compassion for Alex's delicate situation.

There's really nothing you can do about it. Family is the hardest because they think that being related means you can be rude. My own family members are nicer to strangers than they are to me (not the ones I live with, hubby and kids are GREAT). My hubby and kids are also very protective of me ... I've seen FLAMES come out of my oldest children's eyes at someone for downplaying my illness. Alex needs this protection from you and her dad just like I need it from hubby and kids. We need to use our energy to get better.

It sounds to me like the problem has more to do with these people having no respect for your family. How awful to push food on someone who has politely told you they can't have it. This is bullying and I try hard to stay away from bullies even if they are related, especially if they are related. Alex didn't "cause" any of this problem and neither did the Celiac. How rude!

So sorry she had to go through that.

Micah

Well I hate to say it but some families are like that. I have a few family memebers that insist that I eat what they eat. I explain many times and then if they don't understand, I try to print off a blurb of Celiac and hand it to them. Others will go out of their way to make sure there is something there for me to eat. I can't believe it when they do it. So tell Alex not to get down. Brothers will be brothers. They will learn and if she wants to she can try to educate them. Tell her to take it slow. There will be other get togethers. Even if you both have to invite family over and make food you know she can eat. It will work out eventually. Hope Alex feels better.

Right after I was diagnosed my sister came in from the city she brought dessert and the bread, everything else was gluten-free prepared by me and my mom. My sister was insulted and upset that I didn't eat her bread and dessert, I explained it to her again, and she told me "you overthink things too much" It insulted me the most when she said, "You'll outgrow it!" Yeah my sister who had no idea what celiac was or heard it before, didn't understand that yes one slice of bread would hurt.... was telling me i'd out grow it.

GRRR....

It's common and frustrating... I just chalk it up to my sister being too involved in herself to deal with my problems.

Carla, This is SO true! My husband gets this treatment from his only sibling (sister) and he's very hurt by it. I understand it because I've seen him everyday, especially before diagnosis, weak, gray complexion, digestion troubles. His sister feels that "well I get upset stomach sometimes too!" She equates her issues with his. He's one step from being hospitalized (at his worst) and she says she's sick like that too "but I go to Bingo anyway! I don't sit and think about my pains like you do!" na-na-na-na-na...like a child.






I think that somehow these people - like husband's sister - are sickos who are jealous of the attention and feel that if they deflate the problem, the attention is off of the person with the real health issue and back on themselves.
These people are narcissistic and at times toxic. Last weekend we were visiting their mother (who lives with the sister) and mentioned that we had to leave (we were there for a few hours already) to go home to slice the gluten-free bread I had made before we left the house. The sister's comment was "I wish that slicing bread was all that I had to worry about..." Said in a very snotty way. I felt like retorting "Yes, I wish celiac was all YOU had to worry about." Meanwhile my poor husband didn't do anything to initiate that coversation,
I work full time and suppport us - she hasn't worked in over 30 years/no children. If I can't work due to an illness we are in trouble..a catastrophe for us.
And during this weekend my husband and I were both concerned about the results of a blood test CA125 for ovarian cancer for me...she knew about the test but again, "it's all about her."
So yes, we did have things other than slicing bread to worry about; much more serious than her little brain can comprehend. It's just tough to take this b.s. from relatives, especially relatives who have witnessed the illness's destruction of the person. It's a self-centeredness that wants to take the spotlight and be the "star" of the illnesses, etc.




This is so true...like family feels they have the right to kick you around

I hate to say it but what you experienced is pretty common. Good luck, it will all work it self out.

I am glad Alex's father stood up for her. When it comes down to it, as long as the ones that really matter are supportive and understand - the rest will come a lot easier.

I have caught my mother trying to give my son food. She's diabetic and thinks it's as easy as adjusting insulin or not eating something else later. Or that he's a kid and he would prefer a little tummy ache over missing out. She has no idea.

As for me, they think it's just another hair-brained passing fad I've gotten myself into.

I would love for just once, my parents to stand up and tell someone to shut their non-gluten free pie holes and either get educated or mind their business.

And in the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."

Thanks for the comments. It's good to know that others have had similar experiences although I guess that is a sad fact. I'm trying not to obsess about the incident but every time I think about it I get very angry. Alex is very distraught about it and stressed to the point that it's getting to her stomach. She was up sick last night and is having trouble eating today.

I talked to Alex's dad a bit today and he's not ready to forgive and apologize. I think with time he might be ready to talk to his brother and sister in law and patch things up. He's still too irate about the situation right now -- his Irish temper as Alex says. He's just so fiercely protective over his Alexandria, especially since she's been sick.

Thanks again for the comments. It's comforting to know that we're certainly not the first to go through this. I'm just trying to keep Alex's mind of the whole ordeal for now. And you can be certain that between me, her dad and big brother, Alex will always be protected. She's got her own little posse.

Ryan

I understand what you're going through to a degree. I was just dx 2 weeks ago and have been on the diet for 4. Before that I was really sick. We all thought I washaving mini strokes and that it was only a mattero fo time til the big one hit. I lost 16lbs. I only weighed 132! My family was supportive until they figured out what was wrong. Now they see it as my problem and are doing nothing to help me adjust but this is par for the course with them. I also have Cerebral Palsy so we've been through hell and back agian. I thought I was the only one that delt with things like this. It is comforting to know I'm not. I'm sorry for your pain and I understand.

Just wanted to post that the tension in Alex’s family has been smoothed out a bit. I thought it was only fair to post some good news since most of my posts have been rather gloomy! Once Alex’s dad calmed down a bit he went to see his brother and sister in law to talk about what happened. He basically apologized for blowing up but stressed that Alex’s Celiac Disease and health in general are not to be taken lightly. He reminded them of just how sick Alex was during the worst of it (which they were already aware of) and I think the aunt felt pretty stupid for making light of it.

I don’t think things are perfect between Alex’s Dad and his brother but I think in time thing will get back to normal, which Alex feels really good about since she (erroneously) felt like she was at fault for the whole altercation. I still don’t think any of us would feel comfortable with Alex going to her uncle and aunt’s without one of us with her.

In other good news, we are planning a belated birthday party for her. Just Alex’s Dad and brother and my mom, dad, and sisters (and their fams)– only people who really understand the seriousness of Celiac and the importance of Alex’s health. Only gluten-free, diabetic friendly food of course.

Anyway, I just wanted to follow-up that things have improved and I think will continue to do so. I'm happy to be able to post something positive instead of my usual "OMG, help me" type post. Thanks for all the help.

Ryan

Ryan, I'm glad to hear things are smoothed over.

Ryan, I am glad that it is smoothed over somewhat. I totally admire you for the support you give to Alex. My husband is the same way.

My mom didn't take it seriously at first either-she would say things like "It's just on the edges" or "You know her, she has to bring her own food" Part of it was not understanding that this is not a choice, part not realizing how serious it can be, until I started having MAJOR complications from the undiagnosed celiac-Thyroid failure, diabetes etc. Now, she lets me examine every ingredient of everything she cooks and if I don't eat something, just apologizes for not having something for me to eat. (I always bring my own food just in case)

I also think that for some of our loved ones, it is so hard to watch someone you love become so ill that they can't get out of bed or do all the things they used to, so making light of it is a way to not deal with it.

Keep supporting Alex and fighting for her. She is lucky to have you.

BTW-in the current edition of Living without Magazine, there is an article about a couple that had a completely gluten free reception.

Kat.

I'm so glad Alex is feelin a little better. And she is so lucky to have ya'll to stand up for her!!

My sis and mom (the only fam I've ever had) haven't spoken to me in around 6 weeks. I'm pretty much better, but sometimes my nerve pains flare up. My sis decided I would babysit for free 3+ days/ week. She would just drop Katie off whenever. When DH stood up for me (he wasn't rude, he just wanted a schedule they'd stick too and they need a back up for when I get sick). She freaked and now I guess I'm blacklisted. I miss Katie so much, but what can I do? My (healthy) mom even called me a "whiner" for respecting that my body has limits. Ahhhh!!

Luckily my BFF and her DH totally respect us being gluten-free. They went gluten-free for a while (he has some serious health issues, they discovered gluten is fine, casin isn't) so they make gluten-free dishes occasionally, and when we babysit they stock up on gluten-free snacks for their 2yo (so we don't have gluten in our house/car etc). we're even going camping in July, totally gluten-free/CF so we can ALL eat ALL of the food.

Sometimes fam leaves, but friends stay. Life is funny that way!!

Happy b-day Alex!

I'm glad things have evened out for you guys. I know it's rough. My family still doesn't really understand either but they are supportive in the fact that they don't get annoyed with me. Those who really understand how sick I was know that we've FINALLY found the problem and don't want to see me that ill agian. That's about all I can say for them though. It's nice to see that you have some family that is very supportive. From what I've seen on here that is rare.

Families are like that. Sometimes they understand other times you wonder where in this world they came from!

I have a SIL that for years we have been making adjustments for, deseriably, she has MS and sometime just is tired and weak. Therefore not up to the large gathering. In fact, prior to Dx I often had her brother and father to our house for family gatherings. Just to relieve pressure on her to "do" the holidays.

Now, I recently was Dx. My BIL was in town (not her husband, the other brother) and we just were not up to doing the gathering. Second brother and SIL (with MS) said they would host gathering and do a cookout. We attended. They didn't even set a plate at the table for me since I couldn't eat anything on the menu (after spending an hour on the phone discussing what I was allowed to eat and not). Please note in the past I went above and beyond to make her family traditions for meals, despite a strong dislike to some of the foods (brussel sprouts and oyster dressing -- no two seperate dishes, not together that would be too gross!). Only cantalope was put out and when I took two slices of that I was informed that they had been hoping to have leftovers for breakfast.

So, families are tough! I have been in contact with one sister and let her know about my Dx, I've left messages with 2 brothers that I had medical info to share. They have not contacted me. I was Dx as of 6/11

Susan

I have found that sitting down and explaining the condition, along with all of the hard science behind it, tends to solve the issue. Fortunately for me, my Dx 28 years ago was the result of my mother's tenacity regarding my condition; I wasn't growing, and none of the doctors could figure it out, until I underwent a new biopsy procedure at UCSF medical center. Once diagnosed, my mom just laid down the law and that was that.

Gently reminding family members that Celiac is genetic, and that in the case of parents, grandparents, etc., it was THEIR combination of genetics that landed you in your current situation, just like their blue eyes are your blue eyes, makes a world of difference. Siblings should be reminded that if one kid has the condition, it is fairly likely that they all will develop the condition in their lifetime.

I also try to avoid calling myself "sick." Personally, I haven't really been "sick" because of Celiac in more than a decade, other than the very occasional accidental glutening, because I'm constantly vigilant and somewhat pushy at times, when it comes to restaurants, etc. When I explain my condition, I tell people that I have a genetically-linked autoimmune condition that renders the protein in wheat, gluten, toxic to my body. I didn't choose my diet, any more than I chose to have blue eyes. If they make light of it, or tell me that "just a little" gluten won't hurt, I ask them whether or not "just a little" cyanide won't hurt them. Tends to shut down the scoffing pretty rapidly. The key is, it's not an allergy, or some fad diet, or some kind of disorder; gluten is poisonous to me. Actually, it's poisonous to everyone, I'm just more sensitive to it due to my autoimmunological "tuning." Rather than looking for pity, I turn my condition into an empowering one. I'm fit, I'm healthy, and I have a great diet that is devoid of all of the horrible processed ingredients of which the typical American diet consists. I eat whatever I want, provided it's gluten-free: cookies, bread, pasta, cereal, waffles, stir-fry. I grill steaks at least once a week, along with loaded baked potatoes, and my cholesterol/HDL/LDL balances are incredible.

I have actually managed to turn many people on to a gluten-free diet, after they hear my full-out lecture. And without fail, every single one of those people have told me that it was the best decision they have ever made regarding their general health.

Cheers,
-Pat

I feel your pain!!
My mom has a gluten allergy, and was dagnosed two days before traveling over 800 miles to see the in-laws. her mother in law was VERY upset about it. In fact, she sent my mother a newspaper clipping that claimed that the whole Celiac movement was a joke!! then when she came to visit, she threatened to throw out all our gluten-free cookbooks! but once my mom sat down and explained who sick she was before the new diet, and how much good it did, she backed off

Greetings Ryan,

Family and friends can be difficult when it comes to food and family functions. My mother is also is diabetic. She is eats whatever she wants. She feels that food will fix everything, make you happy when you're sad and used to celebrate the happy moments. When I found I out that I had food allergies my mother responded with "A little wheat won't kill you!" Please keep in mind that my in mind that my mother and my cat were both diagnosed with diabetes in one year. You know your family has a problem with food!

I found out that I was allergic to wheat a few weeks before my birthday. I usually go the North End to begin my birthday celebrations. One of my friends had such a fit because I couldn't go!

It does suck that the people in life just don't understand!

I find it to be not only family members who are insensitive but my co-workers will say to me, things like "I wish I had celiac, so I couldn't eat this candy bar, then maybe I could lose some weight.' I just want to kill them. They just don't understand the struggles we go through every day. My kids are 8 an 12 and understand more about being sensitive to someones needs then they do. They watch everything I do and make sure I am eating healthy and are very careful that I do not get any cross contamination from their food. My parents I think understand what I am going through, my younger brother on the other hand who is 28 really could care less. So holidays can be tough, if only those people had to live one day in our shoes maybe then they would change their tone a little bit, I guess all we can do, is educate them as much as possible, and be heard!!

Such people have so low self-control, that even if they would have celiac, they would find a substitute for THEIR candy bar and still trash everything in, they could find eatable and then be fat. It's not the celiac, that keeps us slim. It's the realization, that everything we eat affects our bodies. We celiacs just get more concious and have more knowledge about what we put into our mouths and what makes us fat and what doesn't. Your coworker would have the same knowledge, if he/she would sit down and read a little and with a higher self-control could loose the weight then, too. Even without celiac. That has nothing to do with celiac. That has something to do with being lazy and without selfcontrol IMO.

Tonight, my husgand blew up at my daughter and I. We went out to eat. Our meals came with biscuits and hers came with coleslaw. I asked for those to be left off. We are both allergic to milk and eggs and there is one or the other in most coleslaw. I know there is in theirs.

In the past, he has insisted that we take the bread/roll/biscuit/muffin/whatever because he will eat it. But then they either stick it on our plate where he insists it remain until he decides that he might want it. Or they will be kind enough to put it on a separate plate and then he will insist that we sit with it in front of us until he decides that he wants it. Which is usually never!

As you can imagine, that pretty much destroys the meal for us, having to sit there with something we like in front of us and knowing we can't eat it. I don't have a gluten issue. (daughter does) but most bread type products have dairy or eggs in them so I can't have them.

This time I insisted that we not get the biscuits or coleslaw at all. He was furious! Said he had paid for them and he should get them. Now I wouldn't mind if he had asked the waiter to put those things on a separate plate and bring them to him. But he didn't do that and he wouldn't sit with them in front of them.

I just fail to see why we were in the wrong to ask the waiter not to bring them. I mean... They were OUR meals! I don't tell him how to order his meal.

Some people just do not understand how sick we are or how sick we can get! It is upseting though!!

Yes, it is very upsetting! I believe that!!! It just sounds like he doesn't want to believe you at all and torment you on purpose in the hope you "change your mind". But you will never change your minds, because you are not allergic or celiac by choice. You are, because you have to some people really don't get it. Why not order something completely else in a restaurant, where you actually CAN eat, because it serves you an entire glutenfree meal, like Outbacks or Carrabas or PF Changs or something like that? Wouldn't that solve the issue? When he says, that's not where he WANTS to eat, then reply, well the restaurant yaddadi yaddida isn't a restaurant where we CAN (you and your daughter) eat.

If one more person says "but you look great, you have lost so much weight, don't you feel lucky that you have a disease that makes you LOOSE weight?" I might actually hit someone.

I have wanted to respond: "yeah, its great to have to go to the bathroom 6-8 times a day, and feeling like someone is punching my abdomen repeatedly after I eat. Its AWESOME to know that I am eating tons but loosing weight (and hair) cause my body is damaged and malnourished. Do you want to start this "diet plan"? I can shove my fist up under your ribs and you can see what it feels like."

I usually try to tone it down a bit, but it makes me so angry that I usually turn red... to which someone says "you don't look sick, you always have color in your face."

One of my favorites is "but how much could possibly be in this little tiny cookie?" or something like that. Well meaning, loving people who just don't get it!

My mom she just wants me to be healthy, she wants me to keep an open mind that I just might have a gallbladder issue instead of gluten issue. She had gallstones when I was very young it was almost gangreen, and almost died, my Grandma had her gallbladder removed so she thinks and she might be right because all mothers are right, right! I respond well to the diet, yes when I eat anything fried I do have pain I guess in places that you normally do when you have gallbladder issues but it is only when I have greassy fried, foods so I stay away from those foods regardless even before I found out about gluten. So she is a little insensitive about my diet, my brother thinks that i'm on some fad diet, because my sister started it first. My sister now is confused she is the one who brought Gluten intolerance to my attention because she was having the same symptoms but with more food intolerance and allergies, her VA doc basically told her to get a life that it was all in her head, she has been eating gluten and I can tell she looks horrible and she is slowly gaining all her weight back that she lost with eating gluten-free. So I am keeping and open mind to having a gallbladder issue on top of my possiblity to having Celiacs even if it is not diagnosed, when I can get the money together I will be ordering from Enterolab.

donna

Enough to go poo a million times and getting raw from wiping

donna

WOW My heart goes out to everyone who has to deal with this nightmare.

I have been dealing with allergic reactions for 11 years now and I have been misdiagnosed over and over again until over the last couple years when my body really started getting worse. I was in college and I was a very stressed out little girl and I had just had 3 really bad car accidents and I was having major abdominal pains and then I started reacting to everything I ate. And I thought I was going crazy!
My face would flush and then I would spin and it was just aweful! I even went to the best Naturopathic clinic here in Seattle and they haven't diagnosed me yet! My grandmother who was an ER nurse for 45 years was the one who said "you're allergic to wheat" I thought no way could it be something that simple cause of all the oddball things that was happening to my body. But she was RIGHT! HAHA
That was a few months ago.

So being hellbent and stubborn, I started to read about wheat allergies, and bought this magazine at the health food store and it had an article about Celiac Disease. I read it literally because I was bored and I swear to you I have every single symptom of Celiac right down to the weepy eyes and skin rashes. Muscle aches, deep, diahrrea, constipation, bruising easily, fatigue, super dizzy, my fingers and toes go numb and tingle... could it be more obvious? I even went to my ND and showed her my itchy goopy skin rash (mine happens to be on my chest) and she "scraped" it and looked under a mic and said it was nothing... grr

So over the course of the last 11 years of my life, I lost all of my friends but 2, have a semi-supportive family. I've been ousted by my Sister, my mom was supportive at first, but thought that kicking me out of her house would "snap me into reality" and make me have to get a job and take care of myself. I was not welcome back with her (and I am not a bad person, I've never been into drugs and I went to college) I am a capricorn I love to work! haha but there were times when I was so sick I could not cook for myself and I had to pay my best friend to microwave me some veggies. lol But I had an eye-opening and very emotional conversation with my mother and she is helping me now while I get better.

Needless to say I have so much to learn about Celiac and I have an appointment on the 30th to see what I need to do about being tested and having a biopsy. I am tempted to bring in that magazine and smack my dr upside the head with it hehehe I've been too sick for too long. I feel like my life ended when I was 24.

And thank god I found this place!

Good luck in all your journeys...
sickchick

I can identify. It is not easy. Most people et frightened in sight of any alternative lifestyle. After all most of the lonmg history of ghettos and pogroms etc were basically about a different style of cooking (kosher meant to be on a certain diet although only mystical-symbolic.) I even found people who definitely have symptoms that would disappear if they ate glutenfree and they choose not to start the diet just because a change in lifestyle means danger somehow. I was told about the dangers of wheat 6 ys ago and I only start the diet now. And I feel the difference but I thought it was just a fad for years. Sorry. We all do mistakes. Too bad. But life is black-and white, it cannot just be grey.

Geo

I was diagnosed with celiac 8 months ago and it was a long process. I'm feeling the exact same way the rest of you celiacs are. My 2 best friends have both made the same comment..."it's a good thing it isn't me, because I eat what I want. I would just have to be sick." It drives me crazy, because apparently they have no idea how sick I was. I'm feeling better now and there is no way I would want to go back to being that sick over food again!! I find it's best to just not mention it.

Hi Lori, I havent been diagnosed yet, but I understand what your saying. Im thankfully blessed that my family is very supportive of me, especially my husband. He cant stand to see me sick. I do have a friend, that comes into town every now and again, and always tries to offer me everything I cant eat, then looks at me like Im just rude. Oh well, I just figure, when he is dying on the toilet, he will know what we go through! I am just at the point now, that food is my enemy. I try to eat what I can, without being sick all the time. Anyway, just wanted to let you know, I feel your pain!

I think sometimes people say the rude things they say as some kind of defense mechanism. I think some part of them fears being in any way like someone with Celiacs. They fear having to follow a restrictive diet or not being able to eat their favorite foods or enjoy social get togethers. By pushing away someone with Celiacs or belittling their problems they're trying to insulate themselves from their own fears. In other words, if your Aunt can convince Alex that eating gluten filled foods is okay and gluten isn't really a problem, then she doesn't have to fear winding up like Alex someday. She's trying to convince herself on some level as much as Alex that it's not really a problem.

And if that's the case, there's no much you can say to someone like that. Until they realize why they're doing what they're doing and or their actions cause serious repercussions in their lives, it's always going to be there to some degree. And who knows, if Celiacs does indeed run in families, maybe the Aunt's been told by a doctor she has a problem, or maybe she realizes there's a chance she might have a problem with gluten too and she's trying to live in the state of denial.

I haven't read the whole thread, but the BEST revengE is to bring your own food and make it look better than theirs REALLY!

My first holiday season gluten-free, I brought Namaste Blondies with choc chips to the Christmas Eve party- they were the first things gone from the table and I had several people hunt me down and askme what they were.

Thanksgiving is coming- lots of people here bring their own cornish game hen or roasted turkey breast with them to be safe. MAKE THEM DROOL!

I know that before diagnosis all of my family, even the extended family, hated seeing me at get togethers. I was the sickling and my mother's favorite quote was "if I had known you would be this way, I wouldn't have given birth to you." I was the sickling, the hypochondriac, the liar, and the outcast. When a new dentist refferred me to the doctor who later diagnosed me, my mother was shocked...when the dentist explained that my teeth indicate I need an endocrinologists help ASAP, my mom went white. A week later, after I was diagnosed by the endocrinologist and leaving his office, my mother actyually apologixed to me for the 17 years of hell she gave me. It took her almost a year to break her own habit of hating her sickling kid but once she stopped and started defending me, the rest of the family backed off too. Maybe you should invite the aunt to visit the next time Alex is glutened. It would probably wake her up to the "I'm not joking" part of celiac.

Another personal story that seems cruel and rude but is a good thing to point out... a few months after dignosis we went to my grandmas. Mom and I helped her cook so it would be safe but I still got glutened...traditional family recipes *rolls eyes*... I was so sick after that meal she went to the library and studied up then cooked a whole Thanksgiving meal the next day on her own...completely gluten-free! Sometimes a little slip in a meal that an "insensitive" or "careless" relative makes, could wake them up. My dad did this same accident once too, but thankfully my mom stopped me from eating the food and then educated him to alternative ideas. It did make a huge difference.

The other idea would be to get her a nice informative book on celiac for a gift. When my nephew started getting sickly a year after birth, we sent him my copy of a celiac book. My brother had him checked and it's not celiac, but they found it helpful nonetheless and have made every effort when I visit to make meals I can eat based on the book!

Sometimes though, you do have to be stern and sometimes seem rude to protect yourself. The way I look at it is...it's MY health and i remember the bad times...if I don't want that sickness back I gotta stand up for myself. I try to be nice and helpful but if it doesn't sink in, you gotta do what you gotta do to protect your health. I'm glad she has someone like you to defend her...I'm still educating my own fiance but he's getting there.