It doesn't help that we're in the middle of major kitchen remodel! I have one kid that would NEVER pick up anything--including dirty dishes. She isn't allowed to have food/drinks in there so there is an issue with her overall. My expectation is that once a week the floor is clear enough to be vacuumed.

GRR!!!!

Kids . . . clean their room? Does that even go together???
My 10 yr old dd has just started cleaning her room, but only on rare occasions. My 7 yr old won't touch her room, but amazingly, she will clean thier bathroom until it shines! I think it is because she gets to clean the tub and play in the water.

If you find a way to make your dd clean her room, let me know!!

I am a neat freak. My 12 y.o. DD is the exact opposite. For awhile it caused a lot of tension between us. I hated the tension far more than the messy room I decided. So now, we just have a few rules and I leave her alone otherwise. The floor must be clear of debris (fire safety). No food or drink allowed. And once a week she must empty her hamper. Every 2 weeks she must bring her linens to be washed. I just let the rest go. I accept her the way she is. Yes, sometimes it smells like gym socks in there....but hey, I dont have to sleep in there.

Ds(10) spends very little of his time in his room and most of his time in other rooms in the house. Therefore we concentrate our energy on the rest of the house, which he is expected to help out with. Used to be a regular schedule but is now on an as needed basis. As for his room, the main surface that gets cluttered is his desk, which I will ask him to put away one category of items, all the books, for example, from time to time. Maybe quarterly, or whenever we have guests over, I will ask him to completely clean it off. He doesn't take much out that ends up on the floor except his laundry, which I ask him to put in the laundry basket a few times a week or whenever I happen to do laundry. Used to have a basket of his own in his room but we moved a year ago and somehow I've overlooked that oops. We're STILL getting our household organized. Once a year we completely go over his room together and get rid of toys etc. that are broken or no longer desired and move others that are keepers but that he has outgrown to storage. When he was younger we bought one of those units with three racks of different sized open bins and put it in his closet and designated each bin for various types of items and that helps. I organized his shelves in the closet too and I don't buy or allow him to buy more than his room can hold and still be organized. He is expected to put away his clean laundry and occasionally helps with other laundry chores. I agree with the floor being debris free enough to clean and no food or drink allowed. We have another room that food and drink is limited and if I see it I send him straight out to the kitchen to finish it at the table. For the most part he is not allowed to help himself to food. He has to ask, otherwise the snacking would be out of control and very unbalanced. We eat in front of the TV from time to time but there are no TV, computer or playstation in his room.

You can always take the door off the hinges of their bedroom. That should do it

I don't know if it would help with keeping the room clean, but that definitely would put an end to any door-slamming tantrums!

Both of my kids (6 and 2) are expected to keep their rooms picked up. My 6y/o must have room cleaned, bed made, laundry separated and bathroom picked up before there's any TV, computer, etc... She isn't allowed to come and wake us up until 7am (she wakes around 6), and she has to stay in her room and do something quiet (read, color etc) until then, so she's gotten into the habit of doing that 1st to get it out of the way. It's something I've made part of their every day since they were babies--you get something out, you put it away before something else comes out. I have too many other things to take care of, I won't be cleaning up after them too!!

That is my #1 concern. The floor MUST be clean every night before bed in the event that there is an emergency where we have to come and get them.

Clothes go into a hamper in my bath at each change.

They are awarded points each day -- clean by 9:00 = 3 points, by 11:00 = 2 points, by 1:00 = 1 point anything after = 0. At the end of the week points are totaled. They must have a minimum of 12 pts for treat/toy

I, too, am a neat freak, somewhat complusive even. I have 5 kids, all grown now, the oldest was 8 when the youngest was born. I used to wear myself out trying to keep the house spotless. Then it hit me--life is too short to sweat the small things. Their rooms were their "castles", their friends didn't care, some of their friends much prefered being at our house over being at home, any day!!! I was mom to so many kids!!!! Sometimes, you just have to realize what is important in life. I told the kids, "When you run out of clothes to wear, don't come running to me, and expect me to drop everything to do your laundry!" Soon, their clothes started appearing in the hamper. You have to stick to your rules and not give in. Of course, this doesn't work so well with very young kids, they have to be old enough to understand. When they left things laying in the living room, they were given 2 chances to take care of it, and depending on my mood, I either tossed it into their room, or I tossed it into the mud room, they had to guess where it went--sometimes, I tossed it outside!!! Their rooms would get a good once over by me, every 3 or 4 months, whether they liked it or not. I never, ever invaded their privacy--I totally do not believe in that. I just would refold the clean clothes, put them away, pick up the dirty clothes they missed, do a good vaccum job, dusting--that kind of thing. The room would be spotless for a day!!!

I used to tell them--what goes around, comes around!!! One son was such a rascal, I used to tell him, I hoped he had 5 kids, 5 yrs apart, just like him. About a yr ago, he laughed, and says to me, "Mom, I think you cursed me, I have 2 kids just like me, a year apart and it's all your fault!!!!" Guess what, those 2 kids are 9 and 8, and he and his wife were totally surprised with a 3rd baby this year!

Just love your kids, and don't worry so much about clean rooms!!! One day they will be asking your advice too!!! Mine do, all the time now!!! They are 33-25 now!!!

We have had 7 children live in our house. When there were 6 of them it was a chore, lol, trying to keep a picked up house. I too wanted a clear path in case of an emergency and wasn't overly concerned if it was a little messy but when the rooms got to a point it was too much I would ask them to pick up their room. The second time I had to ask they would lose a fun thing and if that didn't work I would tell them I was going to "clean" it myself, this meant I would take a large black trash bag into their room and everything on the floor would go into it. Another trash bag would pick up the trash. They would have to keep it clean to earn back what was in the bag. I only had to do this once the entire time we had kids but it worked. They still laugh about it. It is kind of funny though that the fewer in number of kids in the house the less it bothered me. When we were down to one, her bedroom was in the basement, finished, and I didn't have to see it unless I went down to wake her when she overslept.

Thanks for all the responses! She is really just a messy, messy person. I guess some folks are born "neat-freaks" and some are born "messy-freaks!" If I left her to her own designs, she would never brush her hair or her teeth. We try to give her positive reinforcements--nice shampoo, her own pretty bag to keep her things in. We did the same with her room. We shopped for a comforter and I spent a weekend painting it. She has a nice display for her treasures. But now the comforter is ripped and stained because she is so rough and messy.

Don't read me wrong--I adore this kid. She's artistic and sharp-witted and I love that about her. But, I also don't want her to end up on Oprah's squalor show!!!

That DOES work for door slamming!!! My father took my door off the hinges for a month once when I was a teenager for door slamming, and I NEVER did it again.

Both of MY kids' bedroom doors are currently off the hinges for the same reason!